So...why are you single?

Good question, maybe. We will see. So, I've been asked the question "why am I single" and it feels like a milestone and counting, when I consider how many times I've been asked this question throughout my dating years. Often times, my reply was simple. Either I'd just broken up with someone, couldn't find someone or simply the timing wasn't right. And depending upon how you were asked or who asked you, one my reply, "single by choice."

Its true. Most single people are single by choice. Nothing big about that. Anyone could have something just to have "it" for the most part. But, I must talk about the other times where I've been asked this question in an insulting or disrespectful way. These are the times where, while answering, I smile and am gladdened that I am single.

See, turning 30 to me meant a change in a lot of venues in my life. One being relationships and the process by which I deal with a woman, whether it be short term or long term, serious or friendship. I've never been a big fan of disrespect and or insults and I've always demanded to be treated like a "man" in this regard, with respect being top priority.

However, I notice that with age, comes better social treatment. People no longer address me as they would a teenager or twenty-something individual. As I've aged, I've noticed more "misters'' coming out of people's mouths when addressing me. I've also noticed the "mister" in myself and the way I will be treated and wish to treat others. So, now Mr. Myron can answer why he is single in an authorative way.

Mr. Myron notices that there is a culture of disrespect that shadows African American boys, young men and men. And I wont use this time to blame society. I won't use this time to say it's black women's fault. However, the perpetuation or the "carrying out of disrespect" belongs to all of those who participate in this disrespect. I've noticed the look that black youth are given upon entering places. I've noticed and on occasion have seen/witnessed the degradation and social negging that elders of all races have given young black men. And many times I have seen/witnessed this disrespect at the hands of the young ladies that I chose to date.

The loud talking. The rants and raves. The voice raising in public to humiliate someone. The eye rolling when disagreeing. The down talking. The overall attitude of looking at someone as if they don't belong or are beneath you. I've experienced all of this and more, as a young man in many relationships (and believe this has nothing to do with good guy vs. thug or weak man vs. strong man). I've seen and witnessed the way in which women would treat a man they'd respect (by way of age or command) and then treat me to the opposite as if I wasn't a man.

However, now I speak and act with clarity as I am no longer a target nor participant in this bafoonery. I'm not in the status quo of those seeking to be treated as less than a man. Hey, I never have and never will find pleasure in being treated as the lowest common denominator in a relationship. If a woman is looking for that, I know where to direct her. Try those that wear pants and show their underwear. Try those itching to just sex you up and down, with no merit (especially the desperate dudes). Try those needing a handout of some sorts. These are all viable options for perpetuate-rs of lack of respect for themselves and these are the kind of individuals that will fit the mold for a relationship of that sorts.

Now, Mr. Myron speaks. I single. I am happy and single. And I do have choices and options like anyone else. Nothing to brag about in the adult world. However, I am single because I won't participate in the culture of disrespect that many think is masculine. It's not. I don't want to be chosen because I'm easy. No, see me as a man. There is a way you approach and speak to a man, and hey he will do the same back. Men do things differently. Please, do yourself a favor and follow suit. It's called respect and everyone deserves it, in the adult world.

It's not an insult to be single. It's not an insult to not have any choices or options. However, it is an insult when men are not viewed as men. It is an insult when men choose to behave in the lowest fashion. It is an insult when others push these views and ideas of silly, ignorant young men...on men that clearly do not participate. If you ask why I am single, I will say: "look at the news, look on the music videos, look on TV, look around your neighborhood...observe." If you catch yourself projecting ideals of immature men and hoodlum-itus on me, than that is why.

40-50 year old men don't have this problem, as they have marks of distinction that clarify their masculinity. However, men who haven't yet crossed that visual need to be viewed in the same light. It's not a visual thing solely. It's also a mental thing. Masculinity is also about aura, charisma and respect.

So, Mr. Myron...why are you single? I choose to be respected first and foremost and that is not always what I experience with the opposite sex. Let's change this from all angles. Peace

Game 101....maybe we should go into "office" too!

Often in awe, I am amazed at how a player is looked at as a crazy, sex nymph. Often I amazed at how players get the worst looks, words and treatment by people that try to instill with "game". It's funny how these men are viewed as abusers of those without a choice, as they take advantage of the money made by others. Many times they are looked at as greedy, because they keep all of the money given to them.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Hopefully, when I say office in the title, you don't think I am referring to the "principal's office" or something silly like that. I mean "office" as in the political arena. I mean "office" as in politics.

I'm amazed at these wannabe pimps, who are called politics. Often these "wannabees" do things right in front of many, and go undetected and unchecked. Hey, who makes the rules of the world? Not politicians right. Wrong! Well, who do we tell when these wanabe's get out of line and break the very rules they use to keep the general public in check? You got it...no one. Not a damn soul. Who's running game now?

Just ask George Bush, the official wannabe player. He hi-jacked a damn election. He took advantage of the general public by taking an office that didn't belong to him. This is game right. Tell or don't tell a hoe what you're going to do, and do it. No bad looks for him though, just pure game right.

How about "Wall Street" the one block in cohoots with the government. Did these wannabe players get a pardon from the other wannabe players? Sure did. Who paid for their economic fuck-up? In their book, they'd say "the hoes that go to work everyday and pay taxes." Smells like game to me (eventhough, they are still wannabes). Then, these wreckless gamers had the nerve to justify taking bonuses. Ummm ummm ummm...that's some spicy game to me. I mean, they like "players" most people ridicule, worked for the bonuses right.

And last but not least, I am awestruck about the idea of "running for office." The kickback of kickbacks. The idea of creating campaigns with millions and millions of dollars only for the elected official to join office making $200-400 thousand a year. Pimps and players call it game. What do you call it? Since when do you need millions to make a couple hundred k's for four years. Where does the rest of that cake go? Maybe there are some secret alliances, kickbacks and other things going on, involving all of this money.

So, where do we go from here? I'm not sure about the political aspect of it. However, I will say cut the insults, dirty looks and silly ideologies about players. Many people got they "p's" mixed up, when it comes to who's playing games and taking advantage of people (mentally, physically, spiritually, psychologically and socially). I admire players and always will. Most of my thoughts, actions and lifestyle choices cater to this way of thinking and living. I admire out of the box thinking. I consider it extreme common-sense. The only difference is...some admit it while others don't.

Politicians don't admit it. A real player would. Like Ice Cube's song "who's the mack"? They want us to die hard and overly concern ourselves with politics. Tell them to give us some of those millions they use to get that $400 thousand salary...and then we will talk. hahahaha....

day one of my journal for brothers...that want to be men!

There's something about being a "man" that I enjoy. I am writing a book about this experience and mind trip that I am happy to experience. Every step, word, action, thought and everything else in the atmosphere that creates this masculine experience for me...I must say thank you and I am glad to have this. I wanted to do a rules book...but those are out dated. Although, rules, choices and outcomes have a lot to do with this walk as a man. I'm just tired of hearing the pitch "5 rules to better blazay blah".

So, I will operate under theory and write it as a journal entry, and may my perspective help those who need it, and hurt those who try to kill it.

I truly am exhausted at the results and the amount of work that many people and groups have contributed to killing off the men of color...and now, masculinity as a whole. May you go to hell and rest in turmoil. for my fellas, I am blogging a sincere blog, in hopes of showing men of color a road that leads to treasure called "authentic manhood" and may you go from there. The reason you have to go from there is because truly, you can be told how to walk manly (as opposed to what many feel when they say, you can't tell a man how to be a man). However, the final choice to adopt this walk of life...is yours.

Men come in all shapes and colors. We have many shapes and forms. We believe in many things. Yet, I am not trying to concern myself with the seperation that comes from me exploring our individual paths. I am exploring and putting theory to what we are "collectively"! So, let us not fight about our individual beliefs. Let us unite on what we share and on common ground.

Part of me feels that masculinity is a choice. It is an attitude. And it is something that is spiritual as well. After walking the walk for so long....like all things, walking it becomes second nature.

Welcome. Welcome to my world and ideas. Whether you're an ex-con, pussy-whipped, been hurt in a relationship, been touched inappropriately, didn't have a father....etc. etc. etc....let's look at some ideas that will help us turn around our fragmented existence in society and state firmly that "we are men" and we belong! I was looking at a magazine counter and read the line of a magazine that asked "where are our black men"? I laughed as I looked at all of the other magazines only to see brothas on 2 out of 35 covers. I thought, da it's obvious. Blackmen are in the land of "Non-inclusion". We exist, but we don't!

So, I begin with my first theory. It states..."kiss my ass, and don't call me when it's an emergency"! Simply put, include me in every day life or I will create an existence without you. I have worth. I have read enough articles about the shortage of black men in relationships. I have read enough articles about the shortage of black men in homes, schools, work force etc. etc. etc....It's obvious, if you decided to include us before there is a shortage, we wouldn't have this problem. As able Americans, people know how to include, merge and get things. Americans know how to welcome and include people where they wish them to be. So, enough of the b-shit about black men not stepping up. You're not stepping up. You're not doing what is necessary to include men of color in your organizations. Use the efforts that you use to incarcerate men of color, and we will see some damn results. Re-channel your racist and sexist rants and use that fuel to include us into common life...and the shortage will die. Black men...be ready. Change will come. And remember...make sure you have a voice and be included. For black women, if you want a black man, don't wait til you get a marriage Jones before you include one in your life. Be a friend and it should materialize.

Black men...be included. Demand inclusion. And stand firmly as others do what is necessary to include us.  Black Masculinity...enjoyit.

It has been a minute

It has been a minute. But, I am working on this blog thing and I am attempting to secure other things that are writing related. So, whatsup. Obviously, if you are like me...you are one of these people that notice things and speak/write about them.

I was looking in the paper this week (AM New York) and I saw where fashion bloggers generate loads of popularity, by blogging daily. Pretty cool. I like blogging, but I don't have that much to say...everyday.

Speaking of not having that much to say, everyday. I think this is a masculine trait. And not to be refuted, I lean on this idea as true. I just don't think men should have so much to say...all the time. Unless, you are a news anchorman or you host a daily show. Otherwise, why always be found talking. Press pause, in extreme cases....STOP.

Feminine energy. What can I say, it is beauty in a good form, when it is owned by a woman. That being said, someone please inform two groups of people about feminine energy and how it manifest itself. And more importantly, tell them to stop with it. So, about those groups. I notice mainly two. First, the new hip crowd. This new crowd of skinny jean wearing, cutsie tootsie mannered, accessoried from head to toe, talkative, always want to be around guy friends crowd. Please...help me reverse the curse. Men shouldn't see men's draws. Two, your legs are not for display. Three, get in the gym and body build. Do some manly things...stop the "where is my homeboy-itis"...Ladies, if you have sons, do not raise them to be cute. Last but not least....obviously, teach them tact and timing. Always talking is "bitchy" to manly men. And these punks are bitchy.

Group number two are the guys who watch other guys and always claim that they have Gay-dar as far as men's actions are concerned. Notice how I said these two groups possess feminine energy, not that they are gay. These Gaydar rebels think everything that they do not approve of is....gay. Cut it. This is not only feminine, but it is not manly. It is also "loser" energy. Stop watching men, so close. Guys can shout out other guys in a masculine way. Guys can wear clothing and fashion in a way that is smooth and player player. Yet, you should stop acting like everything that is not "Killa thug" is the opposite. The opposite of thug is not homo. The opposite of thug is productive person. Cut it out. Real players take chances in life (fashion included) and just because you wont...does not mean someone is "homo"!

I mentor 10-15 young men and these are issues that I see. I am really getting prepped to focus my whole movement (educational, artistic and life-oriented) towards helping Black Men....we really need to focus on black men. The Kids have help. Women have help. And now...Black men need help. Here is my way of helping....

To be young, gifted and Black

I can't forget. Won't forget. I come from this pool. I come from this group. We don't all turn strong, successful, rich, prominent or wealthy. But...we all come from this group. We all come from this group. It is a group called..."young, gifted and black"! I say amen. I say I am proud. I say I am happy.

RIP John Strickland. I look at the current crop of players playing in the NBA. Many will never know you. Many missed the opportunity to meet you. Today's group of NBA stars seemingly avoid the playgrounds. NBA stars today make hordes of money. They travel the world. They are loved and cherished. However, subtract the money...many of these guys just have a good job. Many of these guys will never be revered for their talent, outside of the fact that they are part of an organization that pampers them and pays well.

Well, I introduce you to streetball.  A place where legends are made. A place where true talent peeks its head, and only the strong survive. Legends are made by their play and not by the size of their contracts. Legends are made by going up against other legends outside admist the current of up and comers who wish to be legends themselves. First, you earn a nickname from an authorized park legend. Then you play in other parks and hope that your name resonates enough to be remembered here. After 5, 10, 15 years of playing with and against other legends...you have been branded and your status is elevated to legendary.

That was John Strickland. He was a great player and consummate entertainer. He made you want to copy some of his movements. He made you want to entertain crowds by way of your play. He had fun and he was a fan favorite. All in all, thats what life and the game is really about...entertaining others with your play. That is why I will always remember him. Now, many of you will never meet him person. Thanks to youtube, if you're interested...you may be able to see some of his antics and the way he played. (Study his interactions with the audience) From this...you will understand the importance of being young, gifted and black. Why? Because this is what you come from and this is what you are. You have a good job. You have a good lifestyle. The NBA is a nice reward. But, remember...you are young, gifted and black. Have a legacy that shines through. Remember, there are others who will never make the money you make. And there are others who came before you who may not be as prosperous. It's ok. Don't forget to acknowledge them in some fashion. And yes, you do owe some sort of allegience.

Even if its simply just remembering the fact that...you are "young, gifted and black" like many others who once were and someday will be. Let this be your brand. Be black, be strong and enjoy youth while you have it and one day they will open the books and you will become "LEGENDARY"!

RIP John Strickland aka Franchise aka MLK (Minor League Killer)....

What, why am I doing stuff that I normally wouldn't do?

Call America the United States of Subliminal Messages....that is what moves us and moves our land. Remember, 90 percent of communication is.....that's right, NONVERBAL. So, that being said, you have to pay attention to the covert things, not the overt.

I taught my class today and a student asked, "why are we studying subliminal messages?" I replied, the world of the unknown is what test are really about. The real world is really about the unknown. How do I teach and reach students who are not familiar with the unknown? I'm not sure. But I do know they need an introduction on subliminals and how the unknown works. This intro will help them navigate tests, life and other things as related to society. No, this isn't conspiracy theory. No, I am not trying to induce my students to only see the unknown as it relates to "fear"!

I want my students to see the unknown and be able to draw a possibility, from an impossibility. One of my students answered a dynamic question, as it related to taking a GED test. I asked him, how do you make a Festiva drive or function with 40 inch wheels. He said, "with certain tools, some things that are impossible, become possible." I said "a ha". That answer came from his sub-concious. He wasn't aware that he could say such a thing. And I said, that is my point exactly. This is how I want them to train themselves to not only take test, but live life.

Many people wonder why relations, life, the economy, politics and other things have gone awry in America. Look at all of the subliminals. We say we want things on the surface. And many times we do. But underneath, subliminally we are being programmed to refuel all of the ideals of not wanting harmony with these things. A beautiful woman wants a beautfiul man. They meet, but neither seem willing to co-exist together. On the surface, it seems like a good match. Underneath, the internal messages they send to themselves and each other are OFF. The Willie Lynch letter addresses this phenomena and this relates particularly to the black community.

On a final note, I was looking at a magazine stand. There was one magazine cover that had an article title on the front that said, "where are black men"? I laughed as I looked at the cover of 30 magazines, only to see 3 or 4 with black men's faces on them. Most of these magazines (the 3or 4) had black men that were celebrities on them, not regular joes. And that sends a clear message to people. So, in response to the question that article posed, I answer..."not included"...by way of subliminals and direct messages. Which means...unknown.

What do you think?

damn...I love my history...but, damn I hate that many feel forever tied to it.

For those who don't know, I like fashion, acting and writing. I really love my style as it relates to all three of these major businesses and art forms. I love my perspective and as a teacher, I really marvel at the chance to teach, learn and or experience any of these art forms. As a student of life and the subjects life create, I can draw hordes of inspiration as I become more and more aware of what these subjects teach and say about humanity.

However, I am approaching a downfall that many artist in my shoes have approached. Well, it is not common to notice that I am a black male and there is a dilemma that makes black people in the arts either assume the role of artist or a black artist. Many will say, "who gives a damn"! I say the same thing too. However, when artists such as actors go to look for work, casting calls usually read specifically-caucasian male, african american male, japanese male...etc. etc. etc....and it makes you think, regardless of whether you feel you're an artist or black artist, how you fit into someone's art, is how they design it. If they call for black men, answer. If they call for white men, and you are not white, don't answer.

The sadness increases a little even more as you look at tv, movies and art and notice....black art in mainstream is sorely lacking. As far as movies are concerned, I must say that I am tired of talking about the same ole' same ole'. Yes Love Jones, The Wood, New Jack City, Do The Right Thing were and are classics. Anything new. Am I forever tied to my history? Is that it? Will there ever be new classics that represent black emotions? Will we ever get a banging black movie that lets black men escape to the hills of Italy for the story line? Will we ever see a movie that depicts black relationships like Nights in Rodanthe, Vicky Barcelona, or Eat, love, pray? More importantly, will black people expand their minds and open up to recieve these stories?

Please, and I say please. Its time to erase our traditional mindsets and open up for more than campfire talks about 80's hip hop, 90's films and all the historical greatness of our past. Black people please open up for the sake of black artist. Artist need fans and followers, and we need you. We need your support. Love Jones is and was great, but that was love back then. Belly depicted inner city life back then. Things have changed. And we need to see these changes. Open up and recieve these changes as they make there way into mainstream. Untie yourself from history.

I hope you recieve this message. I am reading an article in Ebony and I cant help but smile and squint at the same time. There is an article about Love Jones in it. And I am like cool. But, I am tired of expositions about our past. What about our future? And I say our future as artist and those seeking art by us is headed for doom, if we do not open up and recieve new stories, new plots, new ways of existence and new people and new faces....please...let us live!

Peace...

We are the next Generation.....

We are the next generation, and we shall be the next generation (someday) to pass on what it means to be the "next generation"! Isn't this the point of survival as mandated by scientist. Ensure the survival of your species. Wow...starting to feel like an animal or a item. Yeah, but it is true. After talking to a friend, a much younger friend, I realize that we must pass on our beliefs and ideals to ensure that they are able to survive and do the same to the following generation.

I had a conversation with my brother, and he spoke about how the younger guys playing ball at his gym didn't listen. He said that many of them only kept good grades to play ball and that their skill level wasn't the greatest. I told him that I believe this new generation is clearly influenced by obvious and direct incentive. If you want them to comply or listen, you have to show them immediate incentives. Our generation operated with more patience and we were able to wait for results and or prizes. This generation won't move, unless they know the result or whats in it for them....ideals not included.

Makes you think. How do you pass good insight on to these kids? How do you get them to listen? I say keep the message the same and proceed. Generations to come and those closely linked to ours, must know and understand that not all results come immediately and definitely, not all rewards come immediately. Don't expect anything extra (if it comes...fine) and work for the sake of working. Learn for the sake of learning. Most important, value life, others and values....these are the only things that really matter. Its easy to get lost in things and stuff...but one day you will have to pass on something to the following generation and it won't be things. It will be values. They say every generation is 20 years. Times have sped up and it needs to be every 10 years.

So, I offer to you and those of you who will begin to speak to those in the next generation. Offer them love, compassion and wisdom. Let them know that permanence does not exist for humans. Let them know that giving is cool, sharing is cool and being cool is in personality, not stuff. Let them know that hard work is not an option and that it builds character. Sure, we don't have card catalogs anymore and typewriters have been replaced by laptops, but dictionaries and google do not replace the need to deal with literature as hard copy. My young friend said, that memorizing facts was the way we learned and that this new generation doesn't need to know anything, all they have to do is Google. I laughed. So, un-true. For values like commitment, love, respect, integrity, friendship, self respect and esteem are just a few of the items that need to be learned, expounded on and saved in the files of ones heart. You can't Google that. Don't fight this either, or someone may play you with your obsession to have without working, to desire without first observing and analyzing your real needs.

Don't get caught up....your day for giving back is soon. Google not included. Come from the heart. Have a great weekend.